You meet a guy and get talking with him.
You find yourself spending so much time talking with him.
Along the line, you realize you have a lot in common.
However, there’s a problem.
Since you met this guy, he has never asked you out, nor has he ever said he likes you.
You’re probably beginning to like him and wondering when he’ll come around and start seeing you through the romantic lens.
I’m sorry to break your heart and be the bearer of bad news, but you must know the truth.
There’s a high chance that this guy will never see you in a romantic light because he has pushed you into the friend zone.
I know you’ve heard of the term ‘friend zone’ before.
Being in the friend zone applies to both guys and ladies.
Trust me, it’s a terrible place to be in, especially if you want something more than just friends with someone.
It appears that the guy in question is using you for emotional support, but how can you be sure about this?
In this article, we’ll talk about the signs a guy is using you emotionally.
Stay with me to the end to get a clearer understanding of your situation and what to do about it.
5 Clear Signs A Guy Is Using You Emotionally
1. He treats you like a sister
Does this guy treat you like a sister or tell you directly that you’re like a sister to him?
I want to announce that you’re sitting comfortably in a spacious corner of his friend zone.
You’ll hear him say, “I don’t want anything to come between us and ruin our friendship,” or “With all your admirable qualities, I still can’t believe you don’t have a boyfriend.”
Sis, na dem o. (Nigerian loose translation of ‘he’s part of them. In this context, “na dem” refers to guys who put girls who like them in the friend zone.)
By making these statements, he’s subtly letting you know that he doesn’t see you in a romantic way now and has no plans of doing so in the future.
You’re like a sister to him, providing him emotional support when necessary.
2. He finds you convenient
Perhaps your likeness for him has made you too available for him, and now, he takes you for granted.
Learn this today – People do not value anything (or anyone) that’s too available to them).
You pick up his calls on the first ring and reply to his texts immediately after they come onto your phone.
He’s fond of texting you at the last minute about plans because he’s sure you’ll jump on it.
He keeps you around for only companionship without romance.
Well, throw friends with benefits into the mix sometimes.
He doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you.
He finds you convenient, and it’s one of the signs a guy is using you emotionally.
3. He doesn’t take you on dates
If you’re constantly engaging in very long phone conversations or long physical discussions that never metamorphose into dates, he’s probably using you emotionally.
What’s probably happening here is that he’s pouring out his heart to you, thereby utilizing the inner therapist in you to talk about the things that bother him without having to pay a dime for your services.
In the beginning, long, deep-seated conversations may feel like you’re bonding and creating an avenue for intimacy with this guy.
But if it goes on without him making any further steps to go on a date or even to meet with you physically, he probably sees you as his emotional pillow.
He’s only interested in talking to feel better about himself.
It’s nothing more than that.
4. He constantly seeks your advice
Is he constantly coming to you for advice?
You may go ‘awww’ and feel that he trusts you.
You even hope that both of you will bond over what he says to you.
I’m sorry to burst your bubbles, but this guy probably doesn’t see you in ‘that’ light.
Yes!
Get your hopes down.
Instead of constantly seeking your advice, a man who wants to woo you will want to impress you and not project himself as needy.
Will such a man constantly hit you up or blow up your phone with calls because he needs your advice?
Most definitely not!
I’m not saying that a man who is interested in you romantically will not respect you and value your opinions on important issues.
Far from it!
I’m just saying that if you notice that this man is always acting like a lost puppy around you and always needs your help, it’s one of the signs a guy is using you emotionally.
5. You’re his shoulder to cry on
In line with the other points above, you’ll find that you’re his shoulder to cry on.
A guy who is looking for someone to share his frustrations with is not looking for any romantic entanglement or relationship.
He’s looking for a shoulder to cry on, and luckily, you came along.
He sees you as his go-to friend whenever he’s feeling low.
Although he’s vulnerable with you, he won’t woo you because he’s using you for emotional support.
How To Avoid A Guy Using You Emotionally
If you’re serious about dating and become intentional in your approach, you can avoid being used by a guy emotionally.
Firstly, learn to draw clear boundary lines around your heart to avoid heartbreaks.
Stop giving a stranger the benefit of the doubt.
Never commit your heart to a guy until you know his intentions.
He needs to earn your trust and love.
Let him work for them.
Do not offer them to him on a platter.
Evaluate how compatible you are with him if he has proven himself with his actions over time.
If a guy is serious about you, he’ll try to move the relationship forward.
He’ll be the one defining the relationship and making moves to be exclusive with you.
Stop trying to interpret his words and actions if he hasn’t expressly told you what he means.
Let his actions and words towards you match each other.
Another thing you shouldn’t do is have expectations of a man who has not defined what you both have.
Stop doing things for him, expecting to win him over with those actions.
You’ll only end up getting disappointed and giving yourself heartache that should have been avoided from the onset.
Lastly, never settle.
You deserve someone who loves and cares for you as much as you do him.
Avoid investing your heart if he hasn’t made his intentions known and started acting positively towards them.
One mistake you should never make is prioritizing someone who regards you as an option.
Do not ever settle for less, Sis.
You deserve more than just crumbs.