What are the things a married man should never do with his ex?
Read on to learn more.
As a married man, one of the quickest ways to destroy trust and bring problems into your marriage is to reconnect with your ex on a personal level.
Even if you do it secretly without the knowledge of your wife, it is still breaching the boundary line of trust in the marriage.
Also, don’t forget that sin thrives in secrecy.
Being in constant communication with your ex, when unrelated to business, is a high-risk venture.
However, if you insist that there’s nothing wrong with being in contact with your ex and that nothing is going on between you and her, there are some things you should never do with her.
Here they are:
7 Things A Married Man Should Never Do With His Ex
1. Do not flirt with her
Flirting is seen as a survival skill for people who are single and seriously in search of love.
But it should end the moment you find the love of your life and be channeled only towards the one you are married to.
As a married man, flirting with a woman who is not your wife says a lot about you and leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
Now, think of the damage you’ll cause by flirting with your ex.
Not only are you disrespecting your wife by doing that, but you’re also passing a message to your ex that you don’t value your marriage.
Although some people are of the opinion that there’s ‘harmless flirting.’
On the other hand, I don’t see anything innocent and harmless about a married man flirting with his ex; call me old school if you like.
Let’s say the flirting is harmless to you; is it the same for your ex?
Will she also perceive it as harmless?
What about your vows to your wife?
Whichever way you choose to look at it, flirting is a form of communication that says, “I desire you’.
And as a married man, you have no business exchanging suggestive or intimate words with another woman, more so your ex.
Everything is wrong with it.
2. Do not spill your wife’s secrets
It is important that you honor, uphold, and protect the trust your wife has in you.
One of the best ways to do it is to not go about spilling your wife’s secrets to your ex or bad-mouthing her.
Sharing your wife’s secrets breaches the trust between your wife and yourself.
You’ll be putting you and your ex in an uneasy position, as you’ve made her know things that she shouldn’t know about your wife.
In case you don’t know, instead of protecting your wife, you expose her when you share her secrets with someone else.
Just imagine sharing her family issues, past, or health issues with your ex.
Why exactly would you do such a thing?
How terrible!
If your wife has confided in and trusted you, then treasure and guard it.
Breaching the trust code can spell doom for your marriage.
3. Do not go out with her on dates
Although it’s not a bad idea to make time for your female friends (that’s if you still consider your ex as one), going out with them on dates is you overstepping your boundaries in marriage?
You’re not single anymore, so it’s not proper for you to go out on dates (except they’re business dates) with other women (including your ex).
What’s the purpose behind taking your ex out for drinks or dinner?
It’ll make you look like you don’t value your marriage and are looking for something more with her.
So, consider it before setting up or agreeing to a date with your ex.
Sometimes, having some drinks somewhere with her looks harmless, but it is usually the beginning of something more intimate.
Like Nigerians say in pidgin, “Na from clap dance dey start,” meaning that clapping leads to dancing.
Don’t start what you can’t finish.
4. Do not pay her inappropriate compliments
I know that you’re wondering if there are inappropriate compliments.
Hold on.
It’s good, nice, and thoughtful to pay compliments to people.
After all, the fact that you’re married doesn’t make you blind to other people’s good qualities and beauty.
However, now that you are married, you must be more careful when complimenting the opposite sex.
Ladies can always tell when a compliment goes too far.
For instance, you can compliment another woman by saying, “You look nice today.”
It was simple, and you passed your message across without crossing boundaries.
As for the compliments where you mention body parts?
Reserve them for your wife.
Paying compliments becomes inappropriate when you mention body parts and the woman involved is not your wife.
Here are some inappropriate compliments for other women:
”Your lips look so beautiful.”
”You look sexy today.”
”You have gorgeous eyes.”
These flirty compliments are strictly off-limits to your ex and other women.
Use them for only your wife.
5. Do not share your marital problems with her
There’s no perfect marriage.
From time to time, problems come up in everyone’s marriage.
Understandably, you want to talk about the problems in your marriage with someone else.
Please, on no account should that someone else be your ex.
It doesn’t matter how much you think your ex understands; talking to her about your marital problems is not a good idea.
It never ends well.
She’s in your past, and it’s all shades of wrong to share intricate details of your marriage with her.
Sharing your marital issues with your ex can even open the door for an emotional affair between you.
You’ll end up causing further harm and damage to your marriage.
If you must share your marital issues with someone, engage the services of a professional marriage counselor.
6. Do not exchange gifts with her
Exchanging gifts with others is a good way of showing that you value and appreciate them.
It also helps in bonding and building relationships.
As a married man, exchanging gifts with your ex can create assumptions that aren’t true and lead to misunderstandings.
7. Do not talk about your sex life
Why will you be talking about your marital sex life with your ex?
She’s clearly not your wife.
Or is she a sex therapist?
Even if she is, must she be the sex therapist you choose to patronize?
Discussing your sex life with your ex will make her believe you’re indirectly insinuating that you want more than just friendship.
If you truly love your wife and care about your marriage, it’s a boundary you should never cross.
If sex ever comes up in your conversation with your ex, it’s best to keep it light.
Please do not give her any information that’ll come off as personal or intimate.
Conclusion
As a married man, having dealings with your ex is not prohibited as long as it is strictly business.
Even at that, you must exercise a lot of precautions.
You can be friendly in a guarded way with your ex because, most times, cultivating and maintaining closeness with an ex doesn’t end well.
If you love and respect your wife and value your marriage, stay away from your ex.
But if you must be around her, this article has shown you things a married man should never do with his ex.
I hope you stick to it.