There shouldn’t be any secrets between married couples.
They are naturally meant to tell each other everything and be each other’s confidante.
It’s a no-brainer.
If a couple decides to keep secrets from each other in their marriage, they’re simply using their hands to create a disaster that’ll befall them sooner or later.
And while secrets between couples are a recipe for disaster, there are things that should perpetually remain between couples.
It’s important that these things stay between them and no one else, not even their friends or close family members, should have access to that sort of information.
Couples who know exactly what to keep between themselves will trust each other better and have a stronger bond.
So, what are these secrets every couple needs to keep between themselves?
Stay with me as I list and explain them in detail.
6 Secrets Every Couple Needs To Keep Between Themselves
1. Family problems
One of the secrets every couple needs to keep between themselves is their family problems.
It’s never advisable to wash one’s dirty linen in public.
To be honest, no one outside genuinely cares.
The people who listen are just interested in entertaining themselves with the tales of woe, after which they’ll move on with their lives.
They’ll only give advice based on what they were told.
Of course, expect rumors, gossip, and judgment to trail behind such exposure.
It’s not worth it and is something no one should ever venture into.
Family problems should be treated in-house between the concerned parties.
In my opinion, there’s absolutely no need for any external influence that might escalate things instead of calming tempers.
2. Regrets from the past
Past regrets such as a rape incident, or infidelity in the past should be kept a secret between couples.
Talking about these things without the express permission of the spouse to whom it happened is just like opening up an old wound.
It’s different if the couple is on the same page about sharing it and letting people learn from the experience.
Otherwise, let it remain between them.
If it happened to one before they met and got married to their spouse, it’s one’s story to tell, and one should fully decide whether or not one wants to share it with anyone else or keep it a secret.
The presence of secrets that are meant to be kept will test the level of trust and respect anyone shares with their spouse.
Anyone who wants to ace that test will do so easily by keeping their mouth shut.
3. Intimate details about each other
One of the secrets every couple needs to keep between themselves is the intimate details of their relationship.
There are things that happen between a couple or they share that another person should never hear.
Details such as a person’s weird food combinations, habits that come out only when they’re with their spouse, things that happen in the bedroom, and some other things that might potentially annoy, hurt, or embarrass them when it gets out in public.
Let’s say that someone loves to cling to their partner tightly before they fall asleep.
Perhaps a man’s secret to placating his wife after a fight is to dance provocatively for her in his briefs.
It can also be that someone unconsciously sucks on a finger when they’re engrossed in an activity.
Imagine that their spouse loosely tells it to other people.
Not only will it betray the trust between them, but it’ll also hurt their feelings and make them close off from their spouse.
Let’s make it more relatable.
When the ‘Suspect’ challenge trended on the Nigerian social media space, a very popular Nigerian fashion designer participated in the challenge with their spouse where she indirectly told the world that he doesn’t flush his poop well after using the toilet.
During that period, any picture of her husband that made it to social media had some people commenting on whether he flushed the toilet well before dressing up and taking photos, and other insensitive comments in that line.
So, you see?
No one had any idea of that inadequacy till his wife made it known, and it was used heavily against him.
She gave netizens that power over her husband.
Let intimate details in marriage remain what they are – intimate.
4. Minor health challenges
I’m sure that your spouse doesn’t need your friends, neighbors or anyone else knowing about their waist pain or a rash on their back that won’t go away.
Besides being very embarrassing, I think that it’s way out of line to discuss the health challenges of a spouse with other people without their consent.
They reserve the right to choose who to and who not to let in on such delicate details of their life.
It’s okay if you’re soliciting for prayers and financial support if they’re suffering from a serious ailment such as cancer.
But it’s important to keep the details of minor health challenges between yourself and your spouse, especially when it’s something that can be contained, handled, and paid for conveniently by both of you.
5. Fallouts
It’s normal for every couple to disagree and fall out with each other from time to time.
It’s expected because two people will not always agree on the same things.
But it’ll be wrong to start broadcasting that you’re fighting with your spouse and filling every Tom, Dick, and Harry in on the details of the fight.
Remember that there’s always three sides to a story – your side, the other person’s side, and what actually happened.
It’s not wise to give anyone the power to judge your spouse or hate on them just because of a minor issue between both of you.
In addition, no one wants their words to be taken out of context and used against them.
A couple should puts heads together, figure out the problem, and settle their differences whenever they have minor fights and disagreements.
There’s absolutely no need to involve other people in their affairs.
Teaming up to work on issues strengthens the bond between couples and makes them realize more of the importance of having each other’s backs and working together as a team.
6. Each other’s insecurities
Someone opening up to another about their insecurities require a high level of trust and vulnerability.
If a person decides to share their insecurities with their partner, the partner should ensure that it remains between both of them.
Let it not be heard that it left their mouth into the ears of an external person.
Imagine how someone will feel if another person confronted them with an information they entrusted to only their partner.
Such pieces of information shouldn’t be shared without the permission of the original source.
Well, an exception to this rule is if the couple are seeing a therapist for handling issues that are related to insecurities and the likes.
Only then is it important to come clean and bare it all to get the adequate help that’s needed to make the marriage happy, healthy, and successful.