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“Why Is My Husband Not Interested In Me Sexually?” – 8 Reasons

“Why Is My Husband Not Interested In Me Sexually?” – 8 Reasons

“Why is my husband not interested in me sexually?”

Has the question above been on your mind lately, and you’re seeking answers to it?

Then, you’re in the right place.

Sex is always exciting and organic at the beginning of a marriage.

It’s also normal for the excitement to die down with time.

Perhaps you feel that the decline in your marriage’s sex life is more than just the regular change as you get comfortable with each other.

You notice that your husband has completely lost interest in you sexually, and it’s too much for you to handle.

You did not expect to face this kind of problem in your marriage.

Not to worry, in this article, we’ll discuss why your husband is not interested in you sexually.

We’ll also proffer solutions to each reason.

Enjoy the read!

“Why Is My Husband Not Interested In Me Sexually?”: 8 Reasons

1. He might be cheating on you

Why is my husband not interested in me sexually
As a woman, if your husband is not interested in you sexually, one of the first suspicions that will come to mind is that he’s cheating.

There’s a saying, “If he’s not getting it from you, he’s getting it from someone else.”

And this is true in some cases.

It’ll also help if your instincts tells you that something is off about his fidelity.

Your husband may be cheating on you if he’s not interested in you sexually anymore.

What you can do about it

Do you think that the reason why your husband is no longer interested in having sex with you is other women?

Then, the first thing to do in this case is to collect your thoughts calmly.

Think back and check for every detail that screams the suspicion of cheating.

Does he hide his phone from you?

Is he constantly texting an unknown person?

Does he not spare you a second glance, no matter how good you dress or appear?

Does he keep late nights occasionally without any valid explanations?

If he ticks some or all these boxes, it’s time to talk to him about your suspicions and how he has been treating you.

Hear what he has to say and know the next direction to take from there.

2. He has a sexual disorder

Why is my husband not interested in me sexually
Different sexual disorders, such as sexual anxiety and erectile dysfunction (ED), and medical conditions, such as prostate cancer, can affect someone’s sexual life.

Your husband might not be interested in you sexually anymore because he has a sexual disorder.

Contrary to popular belief, erectile dysfunction is not only diagnosed in older people.

So many younger men are experiencing erectile dysfunction these days, and the condition has become increasingly common.

ED can occur as an after-effect of a medication he’s taking.

For instance, if he’s taking medication for high blood pressure, ED is likely to occur.

Some men also go through depression or have comorbid anxiety disorders, which are common in men with sexual problems like erectile dysfunction.

What you can do about it

Although it’s a very difficult topic, you must discuss it with your husband.

It’s difficult because having a sexual disorder is a personal problem, and most men don’t even want to hear you mention it.

So, it would be best if you let him see that you’re interested in his well-being and are ready to take the necessary steps to help him improve.

You will need a lot of empathy and patience to pull this conversation off.

If he’s willing to walk with you through this journey, the first thing to do is to see a physician to diagnose his condition and set up a treatment plan that’ll work effectively for him.

3. He is stressed

Why is my husband not interested in me sexually
Your husband may not be interested in sex anymore because he is stressed and tired.

The thin line between home and work will get blurry at some point in marriage, if the couple is not intentional about work life balance.

Stress from work, long hours at work, raising children, financial challenges, and trying to strike a balance between home and work can take a huge toll on a man.

If your husband is mostly tired or stressed, he’ll have less sexual desire and not be interested in sexual intimacy.

Sex is the last thing on his mind because he’s too tired.

What you can do about it

Find ways to ease the burden and stress off him.

If he works so hard, you can plan a fun-filled evening date where he’ll be free from any pressure, unwind, and have fun.

Carve out time from his schedule and infuse any little time you get with fun ideas to help him relax.

Now, sex is not on the table, but it’ll be when your husband loosens up and gets rid of most of the stress that has been making him rigid.

4. He is depressed

Why is my husband not interested in me sexually
Biological processes cause the effects of sex and depression.

Our sex organs communicate with the neurotransmitters produced in the brain.

When desire is present, the sex organs receive an increased blood flow, which causes arousal.

But with depression, there is no balance in the sex-related chemicals that should be released, leading to little or no sexual desires.

And it may be why your husband is not interested in you sexually.

In addition, depression causes mood swings, an inability to experience pleasure, fatigue, low energy, low self-esteem, and feelings of hopelessness.

What you can do about it

Like sexual disorders, it’s difficult to get a man to talk about depression, but it’s something you must do to help him and save him.

Share the things you observed about him with him, and find ways to help him, even if it means engaging in those activities together.

Also, encourage him to speak to a therapist or his doctor about the depression so that he’ll be diagnosed and placed on a treatment plan.

5. Sex has become boring and routine

Why is my husband not interested in me sexually
Have you been married for a long time?

Maybe that explains why your husband is not interested in you sexually.

The sex has become boring and routine.

When partners no longer share new experiences, their attraction tends to reduce with time.

They’ll no longer feel curious about each other.

In this case, the things you put in place to stabilize and secure your relationship have put you at more risk.

Boredom often comes from being in a peaceful domestic arrangement and staying grounded in familiarity.

When you become too familiar with your marriage, it’ll gradually turn into a platonic relationship, and sex will disappear from the equation.

It’s pretty easy to get into a routine, become comfortable with marriage as a business, and overlook the intimacy part as time passes.

What you can do about it

It’s normal for sex to become routine in a long-term relationship, so it’ll help if you talk about it.

You can reminisce and talk of the ways you contributed to making sex take a back seat in your marriage.

Talk about the ways you think you can reignite the fire.

Share your interests, desires, and cravings, no matter how filthy they seem.

Seek out fun things to do, spend more time alone, be open to doing new things together, and try to explore each other’s bodies anew.

6. Your relationship is strained

Why is my husband not interested in me sexually
So many couples have relationship issues that they keep sweeping under the carpet.

These problems pile up and are unresolved for a long time, building up resentment within the couples involved.

The resentment stands in the way of these couples being emotionally available for each other or feeling connected.

As a result, sexual desire and intimacy decrease significantly or disappear entirely from the relationship.

What you can do about it

You and your husband need to acknowledge that these problems exist between you.

Then, take enough time to talk about how you got into the problem, why it is still lingering, and how you can make it go away for good.

The most important thing is the willingness of both parties to sort out the problem and make the marriage work.

With commitment and dedication, you’ll be on your way to getting things heated up in the bedroom again.

7. Your marriage has foundational issues

Why is my husband not interested in me sexually
Your husband may not be interested in you sexually due to foundational issues.

How’s the foundation of your marriage?

What’s the basis on which your marriage was built?

Is it a contract marriage?

If it is, you should stop expecting your husband to commit to you wholly, as he only sees the marriage as a means to an end.

He may not have any romantic feelings for you and can’t wait for the contract period to expire so that you’ll go your separate ways.

Was he forced to marry you?

That’s a different ball game because he may resent you, which will be evident in his actions towards you.

If this is the case, I don’t know why you’re expecting magic to happen to make him develop a sexual interest in you.

Even if he wants to be intimate with you and you’re up for it, don’t think that he’s attracted to you.

Any man can have sex without involving feelings.

What you can do about it

If you’re in a contract marriage where there’s no mutual agreement that both of you will be sexually involved, I don’t think you need to worry.

You were satisfied with the terms and conditions before going into it.

Why complain now?

Just like your husband, focus on remaining married for the duration of the contract.

If things change for good between you, let it come naturally so that there’ll be no regrets from any party in the end.

If he was forced to marry you, I suggest you try to win him over by always being on your best behavior and ignoring him whenever he tries to make you feel less of yourself.

He might just start seeing how much of a treasure you are and develop genuine feelings for you.

8. He’s traumatized

Why is my husband not interested in me sexually
Trauma can make your husband to be uninterested in you sexually.

Is your husband going through any trauma?

For instance, he experienced a huge loss in his business.

When something like that happens, sex or intimacy takes the back seat automatically.

You’re not the only one bearing the brunt of what he’s going through.

If you’re observant enough, you’ll notice that he spends less time with the kids, hangs out less with his friends, and generally doesn’t engage in most things that pleasure him.

You’ll mostly find him keeping to himself.

What you can do about it

Support your husband both emotionally, physically, and financially.

Be the shoulder he leans on.

Try as much as you can to be understanding because his predicament can happen to anyone.

Hopefully, he’ll pull through and get back to his usual self.


Perhaps you noticed that your husband is no longer interested in you sexually, and you have concluded that your marriage is nearing its end; this article tells you that’s untrue.

So many issues revolving around sexual desire and intimacy that couples experience can be addressed and resolved if and when they’re ready to.

In this article, we also added helpful tips for each reason, and we hope it helps you in your quest to restore your marriage to its initial glory.

Good luck!